By Grant Tucker

ISBN-10: 1849544824

ISBN-13: 9781849544825

Whether instructed within the rugby golf equipment of Wales or the gentlemen's golf equipment of London, their sharpness and ease unites us all. brief, candy and wickedly shrewdpermanent, they carry a different position within the annals of comedy, and because the upward thrust of Twitter heralds a resurrection of the paintings shape, there turns out no greater time to have a good time the immortal one-liner. during this publication, supply Tucker does simply that, bringing jointly 5,000 of the funniest one-liners ever advised in a single definitive quantity. Laugh-out-loud humorous, 5,000 nice One-Liners has all of the quips, zingers, puns and wisecracks you will ever want – and an entire lot extra.

Show description

Read Online or Download 5,000 Great One Liners PDF

Best british & irish books

Germany in the Eighteenth-Century: The Social Backgound of by W.H. Bruford PDF

From the balls and masquerades of the courtroom to the half-naked teenagers of the peasants; from looking and iciness activities to information of authorship and publishing; from legislations to sanitation, this 1935 booklet plunges the reader into lifestyles in Germany 2 hundred years in the past. the writer hyperlinks lifestyle and present traditions with the various striking good points within the literature and regarded the age, hence delivering an entire photograph of the political, financial and social historical past to the highbrow and creative achievements of the interval.

Download e-book for iPad: The Arabian Nights in English Literature: Studies in the by Peter L. Caracciolo

A set of essays which makes an attempt to chart the effect of Arabian tales on English literature for the reason that Chaucer's day. within the stories of Scheherezade, the individuals declare, lie a few of the origins of genres resembling the unconventional and detective and technological know-how fiction. The authors lined in those experiences contain Wordsworth, Coleridge, Scott, Austen, De Quincey, Dickens, Thackeray, Gaskell, the Brontes, Wilkie Collins, Le Fanu, Stevenson, Meredith, Darwin, Keats, Huxley, Henry James, Chesterton, Wells, Conrad, Joyce, W.

Read e-book online Neglected Powers: Essays on Nineteenth and Twentieth Century PDF

Professor Wilson Knight is celebrated for his interpretative paintings on Shakespeare, Byron and different classics. He has additionally now and then released articles on glossy literature. those are right here amassed, with the addition of recent material.

Poets who've had little analytic recognition in recent times resembling Tennyson, Masefield and Brooke, are proven, within the demeanour to which we have now grown accustomed in Wilson Knight's experiences, to carry a measurement of that means hitherto overlooked or misunderstood. Homage is paid to John Cowper Powys as one of many most well known seers of our, or any, age. A accomplished evaluation of the paintings of Francis Berry claims to set up him as our premier dwelling poet.

Professor Knight's new quantity makes an uncompromising problem. He urges, and is going a long way to end up, that glossy literary feedback has did not make touch with the richer meanings of up to date literature. He stresses the relation among such acclaimed poets as Yeats and Eliot and the spiritualistic routine of at the present time, and argues that powers to which our ecclesiastical and educational traditions were blind are crying for reputation, not just via our prime poets but additionally in pop tune. Professor Knight regards youth-revolts as symptoms of a fit dissatisfaction with an irreligious and directionless tradition, and believes that our wish lies within the overlooked powers urgent for recognition.

Additional info for 5,000 Great One Liners

Example text

I think it’s time for me to start making my own decisions. Or maybe not. What do you think I should do? My wife said she was going to leave me if I didn’t stop being so sarcastic. ’ I should have known getting married was a mistake. After I said ‘I do’, the vicar looked at her and then asked me if that was my final answer. ’ The judge has got a stutter, so it doesn’t look like I’m getting a sentence. I’m so good at sleep, I can do it with my eyes closed. I was thinking of writing a book, A Guide to Better Shoplifting – but who the hell is going to buy it?

Try breaking a condom. When I was young my mother said I could be anything I wanted to and that the sky was the limit. Which was a bit shit, because I wanted to be an astronaut. Before I go home from work, I always make sure that I turn everything off. Which is probably why I lost my job as a doctor. If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age. My electrician mate accidentally blew the power to the ice-cube factory next door. The company has gone into liquidation.

Next time you eat an egg, just keep in mind… You’re eating a chicken’s period. I like making a move on my girlfriend first thing in the morning to help wake her up. I usually start with the suplex. It’s never too late to start. Which is why I’m putting it off till tomorrow. I have got a bit of a reputation as a ladies’ man in my local. All I can say is, they smell so much cleaner than the gents. A train driver’s job is very straight forward. My girlfriend says I treat her like an object. Don’t blame me, love, you’re the one who says we’re an item.

Download PDF sample

5,000 Great One Liners by Grant Tucker


by Paul
4.3

Rated 4.81 of 5 – based on 28 votes